Although currently the "front porch" chairs are packed up I will link back to Monica. I have been so busy working and packing I haven't been able to attend to the blog/comments, emails, IM's (much), snail mail etc. And for that, so sorry.
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| from a few summers ago. |
Time: almost 9 am. I slept in. Surprisingly. No work today-thankfully I do not have to work inventory today. Yesterday was enough of that nonsense, just saying.
Scene: A brisk 36* (real feel 31) bright and sunny.
Today's Plan: I plan on taking the day off from everything. Which brings the thought, who am I kidding? Bahwaaaaaaaa
Drinking: My first cup of coffee with Sweet Cream.
Listening to: Hmm...actually nothing. Hubby is pretty quiet. Which has me concerned; he recently had his 56th birthday and he was all alone as I had to work until 8pm. Not a single call from his family, not a single visit etc. And I know it has him in down in the dumps---I probably should leave it at that as its taboo to talk about depression (which I think he is, but since its 'taboo' and men don't talk about it...).
Pondering: Above. These last 3 months have really taken a toll on us both. To which it brings me to the countdown:
4 days left of my current job and 7 days to move. Which brings another set of issues? But nonetheless, we are moving.
?
...some of you have asked what will I be doing in Florida? Or am I retiring. That answer is no. I will have a job. I have a job interview for the public library.
...We also have to find a place to live...which has caused some issues between us because the job I am interviewing for is 30 miles from where we are staying (in our friends RV). My husband is adamant about staying in our hometown and us having only one vehicle at this time. But at the same time, with the price of gas going up and up...and that is a real concern. But at the same time, I personally feel I ought not give up my dream(s) and doing what I want to do...and that sounds really selfish, and I know it. There it is...I have always done what the role of being a wife is...I'll be 55 this week and only have 10 yrs. or so left for retirement. 55? When did I get so old?
Follow your heart, Linda. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteOne day at a time and ask The Lord and do what He says do...best advice I can offer. Praying for you both. It would be very odd if you were not deeply affected by your loss. The Lord is leading you on. He's got this.
ReplyDeleteWill pray for Dave. I am sure he is feeling a lots of things right now. It can quiet overwhelming with all that you both have gone through. You are having a birthday this month so give God the praise for another year of life. Girl, you getting to retire at 55 which will be here before you know it will be such a blessings. A friend of ours retired at 55 and he loves it. Praying for you both. Hugs and blessings, Cindy
ReplyDeleteThere are lots of decisions to be made and praying the Lord will give you the guidance needed. I think working in a library would be awesome. If I hadn't gone into teaching, I wanted to be a librarian. Anyway, I hope your birthday this week is a peaceful one for you, Linda. Thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteMy daughter works in our public library---children's department. The public library NEEDS conservative librarians. So I hope you get that job.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Patti
Hi Linda, I think you should follow your heart. Especially if you plan to work for another 10 years. Time goes by way to fast! I remember turning 50. I was in good shape and health. Sorry to hear about your hubby, but you both are mourning your son and moving. Both are major situations that are very stressful. Your husband has kept himself busy since your son passed. Maybe it is really sinking in now. Praying for you both.♥
ReplyDeleteI was just thinking about your birthday this week.
ReplyDeletePoor Dave. I wish I could make it all better for you both, somehow. I know things don't feel "happy" at the moment. When I get really, really down I hold onto the joy of our future in Jesus Christ. That lasts forever. We all have to do that or go coo-coo for cocoa puffs in short order. :/
I'm so excited for y'all to be heading this way. I pray the sadness falls off like an old skin and the joy fills your hearts more and more as you get closer to home.
Sending Love & Prayers xx
Now that you and your hubby have made the jump to the South, you will have fewer of the 31°F days. Still, when they do happen, you will find more reason to cover your ears (not necessarily due to the cold, but due to the cussing of the citrus farmers).
ReplyDeleteI'm not at all surprised to hear your hubby's feeling blue. So much weighing on the both of you -- and then, not to have even a phone call? Pox on them! There's better fish where y'all are headed, I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteIf memory serves, wasn't Liam a fan of the library? If you go to work there, it sounds rather like a tribute to him.
You know I commiserate with you about the guys and depression. It's a do not bring it up subject here, too. Well, for HIM it is. He's all for any of the rest of us getting help if we need it. But as for him, there shall be no chances taken that they will find a reason to take his guns. Anyway, similar situations...lost his only brother (and really his only guy friend) 6 years ago and then with our son shutting us completely out of his life meaning he also doesn't get to see our oldest grandson who he was very close to...how could that not effect a person?
ReplyDeleteHow did you get so old? I ask myself every day. Don't you hate when you see a bunch of old people when you're out and then realize they are your friends from high school? Or that heroes of your youth are now in their 70s and 80s? Man, the years went fast!
I hope you're enjoying your day off. Keeping you all in my prayers to git'r done, for safe traveling to Florida, and for the life that awaits.
Keep hanging in there and praying and I know God will help you all figure it out.
ReplyDeleteCentral Florida is your 'hometown' so play it by ear. When you get that dream job that allows you to better use the degree you worked so hard getting, moving closer doesn't put you that far away from Ocala - and housing could be less expensive there! Your pain, and Dave's, is still raw. Three months or three years, you will still miss your son. I love that you are making this move. Friends are like family and Dave will fit right in down here! xo
ReplyDeleteLinda, it sounds, to me, like you both need a change of scenery. I know moving is probably a bit sad and happy. I also know what it's like to be "forgotten" on your birthday. It bites down to the quick. If you would email me your new address, I will promise to have a birthday card waiting on your husband when y'all get there. Send it to pmcr63@gmail.com. My thoughts and prayers continue for you both.
ReplyDeleteGrace & Peace,
Pam
I'm sorry for what Dave has put up with from his family. He's done so much and this is what he gets? I'm sure this birthday was hard anyway, being the first since Liam passed.
ReplyDeleteI hope you get the library job - that is perfect for you! And the housing will work out. My job is 27 miles from my house, and is so worth the drive because I love it! And in Florida, you won't have to worry about a snowy drive. :)
Hi Linda. I hope everything works out. Personally, I think that you should go for the job you want and then decided where you are going to live. Hubby just told me tonight, that he's OK with me retiring when I am 65. That is in about 2 1/2 years. I was planning to work four more years, but oh I am getting tired of the daily grind with teenagers. So sorry no one in your husband's family called or remembered his birthday. It looked like you had a nice cake for him. You are in the final countdown now. I hope you will keep in touch and let all of your blogging friends know what is going. Won't be long now. God bless.
ReplyDeletePlease give Dave a big old hug from me. I know he doesn't know me yet, but I do love to hug, and he needs one right now...and so do you. You have both been through so much this year and now that things are really gearing down up there and gearing up down here, there are a LOT of emotions running around in both of you. We all know the move is going to be stressful in some way, but OH SO GOOD in so many more ways. Just get on down here and I believe you will see all the chips fall into place regarding where to live, house, job, etc. You have friends AND family waiting for you down here, plus a very WARM welcome! I am sorry I didn't get birthday cards in the mail to both of you, but I'm way behind in all the niceties of life right now. Still I wish you both a blessed and wonderful birthday, and a beautiful and peaceful transition from where you are to where you are coming. God's got you both covered, and you will see the purpose of it all in due time. Just try to relax and let God carry you through these next weeks as you make this very big move. You are headed for "the promised land"...well, you know what I mean! We love you guys and are literally praying for you both every single day. Keep your eyes on the goal! (((hugs))) and much love.
ReplyDeleteNot selfish at all. I am praying the move will be the best thing for you both and you will be happy where you settle.
ReplyDelete